Vietnam - travelling alone with 5 children: Day 11

We have arrived in Hoi An.

Yesterday evening we were picked up by a taxi at our hotel at about 6pm. We had been wandering the streets of Nha Trang homeless for 6 hours, our bags in storage at the hotbox hotel we had escaped staying at for a second night.

No one was vomiting and no one had pooed their pants for a day or so, so I felt fairly confident that the trip would be uneventful. Drew felt mildly unwell, but her bread only diet for the last day seemed to have helped her avoid a full blown attack of the dreaded "distressed bowel syndrome". I was led to believe that the bus had beds, and that we were in for a comfortable journey and we would arrive at Hoi An well rested and ready for action.

As I squeezed into the taxi I smashed my head on the roof and jarred my neck. Everyone (all 8 passengers) who was already sitting in the taxi that was bound for the bus depot gasped as I smashed my head. There was nothing to do except regain some dignity and pretend that it didn't hurt. If I had been alone with my kids I would have grabbed my head and screamed, then I would have rocked myself backward and forwards and moaned for a minute or two. This process would have served 2 purposes. It would have helped with my head/neck, and it would also have been an outlet for how I have been feeling spending every day, every second in my children's company for 11 solid days. All I need is something small to tip me over that edge, and I'm gone. That is the killer on this journey. The relentless talking of my children and endless conversations, the incessant fighting, the whining about the food, about the accommodation. In moments like these I gather my strength by recalling a 3 day camping trip I took with the children and our dog to Yamba in New South Wales, Australia. It rained for the 3 days, the dog was unwell and had a bad case of worms, and our camping ground was 3 km out of town. That is hands down the worst experience of my life.

The taxi dropped us at the bus depot. Our bus was just waiting for us, so it was already filled with Vietnamese men, women and babies lying supine under blankets in their beds. We were somewhat of a freak show with our endless bags that had to be loaded. The driver was barking at us all in Vietnamese to remove our thongs and put them in a plastic bag before we walked into his bus. Took us a bit of time to understand what he was talking about, but I managed to interpret what he was saying just before he started to poke me in the chest. It turned out that this was his pet hate, and it soon became evident that he didn't like our family either. We were shown our beds. 5 in a row across the back seat of the bus, and one single bed the row in front of these. Drew quickly took up prime position in the single bed by herself and I crawled up and squeezed in between two of my sons. Drew also likes to have the best bed in each hotel with the best view. She likes to sleep by herself, spread out and she likes to have sole use of her own computer at all times.

Bonding time! This is the life.

I think I managed about 20 minutes sleep on the bus. Every 5 minutes or so the bus would hit a massive bump or pothole and we were thrown 50cm out of our beds, or the bus would veer sharply to miss another motorist. Lights were turned off without warning at about 7.30pm, so there was nothing to do but try to sleep...and listen to George whinge. I spent the next 3 hours breaking up fights over who had the computer to watch a movie. George and Max needed to go to the the toilet as soon as we took off, and it finally dawned on me 2 hours later that there was a toilet on board. A man two rows in front of us turned his phone onto Vietnamese love songs and then put his head under his blanket to watch/listen to it with the volume turned way at about 10pm.

My recently injured neck was killing me and I was obsessed with the thought that that my whack on the head may have caused a subdural haemorrhage and they'd just find me dead when we stopped at Hoi An.

The driver pulled up at a remote diner in the middle of nowhere at midnight. It was like one of those diners from the movie Kill Bill. The lights came on and orders were given in Vietnamese. We just followed everyone out of the bus. That's when that bastard bus driver struck for the second time. He got James first. He yelled something out like "OI"and got down really low and pointed at his thongs. It was too late for the rest of us. We all got pulled up. I know he was saying something along the lines of "get your stinking shoes OFF while you are in my bus bitch". It was loud enough for the crowd outside the bus to stop and look. We followed the crowd and ended up in the most hellish public toilet I have ever encountered. I just wish I had taken my camera out of the bus with me.

The toilets were unisex. Only one toilet had a toilet bowl in it, the rest of the 8 or so toilets consisted of footings either side of a hole in the ground. Each cubicle had opaque glass on the door so you could see what was happening inside, and I finally realised what the large garbage bin full of water was for in all the public toilets. I waited in line for the toilet with the bowl and once the girl in front of me was finished, she got a pot full of water out of the garbage bin and used it to flush the toilet, then she got a few more pots full of water and splashed the floor, the toilet and ?? the walls with the stuff. The whole room was awash by the time I got in. I did my business quickly, thankful for my strong, toned and tanned thighs (just joking). They served me well keeping my bum 4 inches above the toilet seat through the whole procedure. I opted not to flush the toilet with the bucket water. I just got out of there as quickly as possible. I don't know how the girls use those squatting toilets. Do you take your legs right out of your pants, or do you just squat and squirt? All a bit baffling.

We finished up and walked back to the bus, removing our now filthy shoes before we re-entered.

We arrived in Hoi An at 5:30am and our family was bustled roughly off the bus. We just went with the flow and let a waiting taxi driver take us to a medium priced hotel. We ended up here at Phuoc An Hotel. $30/night. 5 mins walk from the main old section of town. Free bicycle hire which comes in handy as the entire town is flat.

Hoi An is beautiful. It's lovely by day, and spectacular by night. The old buildings down by the river are completely lit up with lanterns at night. Lanterns everywhere! Beautiful restaurants, wine bars, quirky shops. Up till now, I've basically only come across shops full of tourist crap. I haven't been able to find any real Vietnamese treasures. Well Hoi An is the place to find them.

There is no avoiding the t-shirt tan. Even with sunblock and a scalf.

The specialty here is tailor made clothes. Shoes, dresses, suits, pants. Anything really. Of course my boys went to town with the Vans, Nike and Puma shoes. They could choose their colours, the material, I think a few of them are having their name sewn into the shoe where the trade name would normally be. You could choose any mixture of shoe you wanted. That heel with that front, with those straps. God, I wish I'd done my research before I came to this town. I wish I had brought the shoes I love along and had 2 more pairs made. It was all too confusing trying to choose from a book, but by God I gave it my best shot. The shoes cost about $30-$35 each to be made and will be ready tomorrow afternoon. I also gave the tailors an old skirt of mine to copy in two different colours. That'll be ready tomorrow morning, cost $35 each skirt.

I suggest taking a photo of a jacket, shirt, skirt, dress or shoe that you like and bring it with you to Hoi An if you are ever passing this way. There are plenty of designs to choose from in the shops though.

Did I mention Hoi An also has the cheapest beer I've seen inVietnam.
3000VND = approx 25 cents.

The lanterns are priced from 2 for $1 - $5 each.

We stopped our bike riding for lunch and with the language barrier totally stuffed up our lunch order. I ordered 4 spring rolls, but we got 4 plates of 4 spring rolls. I ordered 2 rice paper rolls, and we got 2 giant dishes of ingredients to make rice paper rolls. I ordered 2 rice pancakes and we got 2 plates, each with 5 pancakes on board.